Ratty Thoughts

Well, I did it. Last Monday, I went and, for the first time, got a tattoo. I had toyed with it for years, never being able to fully commit due to the permanency. Granted, I consider my septum piercing permanent, but getting the tattoo was a bigger step.

So, what did I get? As you can see, I decided on a simple, text-based tattoo. It’s the missing letter in my name, which does have its own back story. It is also a nod to what is missing and a reminder to myself to seek out answers, to always question and look for the truth. It ties into my current research as well, since Rikki-tikki’s family motto is “run and find out”. For me, that’s the heart of my choice. It’s a reminder to always question, to always seek, to always discover, even when the answer seems clear. And to that, I dedicate the (h) on my inner right calf.

I learned one thing in 2011: I have the bestest friends. It was a year of new experiences, of reconnecting, of living. I wanted to quickly revisit some of the highlights of the last year.

I moved! I left the comforts of 19th Avenue and ventured further west into a more dense part of the hill. I had a wonderful little housewarming, and have settled into a larger, improved space. I still have a gigantic closet that I could sleep in, but now I also have a decently sized kitchen as well. Yay!

I learned I still love the Bottleneck Lounge. As do my friends and we always have a great time meeting up and drinking every 3-4 months. If the walls of that place could talk, I’m sure we’d all be in trouble.

Sounders ’til I die. Enough said. I fully embraced my love of Major League Soccer, joining the Emerald City Supporters and traveling to an away game with my favorite Sounders FC fan (we enable each other, it’s scary). I look forward to another season and continuing the obsession.

Bike-bike-bike. Not only did I log about 1400 miles on the bike this year, I biked in other states. I participated in STP for a second year and spring break was spent biking in Texas. It was a great year for biking, and I started it by buying a Surly Long Haul Trucker.

They always come back. I have been rewarded this last year with friends who stick around as well as friends who have come back. It says so much when the bonds built last and we reconnect. I’m glad that the people I value most never wander too far and we always seem to stay in touch.

Stripping the bacon. Thanks to one friend that came back, I pushed my boundaries a bit this year and attended a monthly gay variety show called Bacon Strip. It is campy, cheesy, god-awful at times, but I really have enjoyed the experience. And yes, they serve bacon, and no, I have not sampled the Bacon Boy’s meat. Ah-hem.

I can escape. Despite my limited budget as a full-time, mostly unemployed college student, I can travel. I have been blessed with friends and family that are very understanding. This last year, I made it to Texas, Montana, Wisconsin, Oregon, Vancouver, BC (briefly), eastern Washington, Mt. Rainier a few times, and the Olympic Peninsula (Port Angeles).

And that’s not all. So much went down last year, which always seems to be the case. I continued to reconnect with my inner gamer, met and dated some wonderful guys, continued to educate myself both in and out of school, and…

It’s been wonderful, and I am looking forward to 2012 as another great series of experiences.

PS: A final shout out has to go to those who have rekindled my nerdy loves, including Dr. Who, Battlestar Galactica, Dungeons and Dragons, Ticket to Ride, etc..

So, I just submitted an application to UW’s iSchool PHD program. I will know sometime in the next two months whether I am accepted, which is nice. In the meantime, I am doing my best to not worry.

I wanted to share the research statement I submitted. It is an accurate reflection of my interests, as well as what I am planning (and hoping) to do academically. Enjoy.
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The willingness of young adults to concede personal liberties in exchange for connectivity and access to information is occurring both online and offline. Additionally, a shifting of focus to what is best for an idealized user is driving the desire to track the user’s every action. How does this emphasis on tracking information affect the inquisitiveness of the user? More importantly, what is its impact on the natural curiosity of youth? Does a need for gatekeeping of youth exist? If so, how does audience factor into this restriction of information?

The role of youth within the information stream and ensuring that future generations maintain control of their information is one that bears further research. The role of adults, including parents and teachers, as gatekeepers is a piece of this, as the notion of gatekeeping walks a fine line between censorship and over-saturation. Arguably, adults must monitor the flow of information to youth, yet the level of restriction is subject to debate. If censored too much, adolescents enter adulthood unprepared for the influx of information and do not possess the tools needed to flourish. If uncensored, the risk is that they will be overwhelmed, forcing them to confront adult situations when not prepared, or to yield their youthfulness so they can process this information. The debates surrounding gatekeeping and it being an extension of only presenting youth “what is best and/or appropriate” prompt questions about information literacy as well as youth as information seekers. How do we as adults help equip youth to handle the increasing flow of information? I think this would be an engaging topic to delve into, one that could challenge not only the role of gatekeepers, but the very need for gatekeeping.

My current research has been within the humanities. While focused on literature and various criticisms and theories, I have explored the role of the reader and begun research on the phenomenon of crossover novels. I have also maintained an interest in history, taking several classes, and researching various historical moments independently. Reflections of the 1968 student revolutions in France are present within today’s Occupy movement. A post-WWII welfare state bred discontent and the role of the state in regard to the individual has been historically problematic.

I also am beginning a senior thesis project for Comparative History of Ideas. Using Rikki-Tikki-Tavi from Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book, I plan to not only tackle the story itself, but also use it as a tool to study audience and information management. The tale’s appeal to a wide range of individuals, and the complex thematic issues presented, such as gender, colonization, and even religion, allow an in depth look at the flow of information. In the first section of my thesis, I will employ a close reading, along with textual studies and a general analysis of the material. This will help me glean important themes as well as target an audience. The identification of these themes as well as a possible audience for the text will conclude this section of my thesis. Next, by investigating the concept of audience, I will seek to address the dangers of targeting an audience. What are the consequences of targeting an audience? What are the thematic implications of restricting the audience and limiting the flow of information? In the final section, Rikki-Tikki-Tavi will be employed as an example of information in general. As adults, how do we unpack thematically dense information for youth? What do we include and exclude and what are the consequences? As we look at the flow of information, should we instead realize that youth are able to handle an unrestricted flow of information, and instead focus on improving their skills as information seekers?

These transitions from the literary focus into a broader look at not only audience but also information management are a huge part of why I want to enter the iSchool. Using texts like Rikki-Tikki-Tavi as an example of information, I will expand my research into information and how it is managed. As an extension of literature and the tools employed to analyze it, I’ll blend the methodologies of the humanities into the practices of information science. The same methods used to dissect literature can be applied to information in general as we seek not only to manage its flow but better understand it. The methods dictating web design are also clearly relevant to literature. It is all information, and a synthesis between the two needs to exist to more holistically understand the two. This interdisciplinary approach, as well as the ability to further delve into this line of inquiry, is not possible within an English Department. This inquiry requires a broader scope, one that is present within the iSchool.

The iSchool program would provide me the resources to begin answering these queries. Working with faculty and peers, I would hone in on a specific line of research. Additionally, I would be able to look at the points of exposure for information, as well as the concepts of intended audience, whether implicit or explicit. Weaving this into my research, I would build upon the role of youth and how adults affect their flow of information as either gatekeepers or educators.

Looking beyond the iSchool, I professionally want to be at the forefront of a research field. I want to become a leader and push the borders of not only this field, but also the capacity of my own knowledge. I want a career that allows me to do this, whether as an educator or a researcher. As an educator, I would not only be able to share my knowledge, but foster an environment of learning while building upon my previous experiences as a trainer. My knowledge would be constantly challenged by new and emerging theories and methods, present not only in my own research but also through that of mentors, peers, and students. The academic world would further hone my skills, allowing me to continue growing while never compromising on my education. As a researcher, I would encourage a dynamic and inquisitive environment, constantly weaving the theories and research of others into my own. Knowledge would be melded together, debated and shared. Boundaries would be fluid as I push my personal limits as well as those of my field of expertise. This also would foster a constant expansion of knowledge, one without comprise.

Outside of academia, this education would allow me to work with organizations and the user experience. While focusing on youth, I could challenge a company to change their focus from targeting an audience to providing information as a resource. The focus would instead be on what an audience will do with the information and crafting the delivery of information based on this focus. I feel this shift is where information management is heading in order for the user to remain relevant. If companies are willing to relegate the user to a nameless, quantified being, then the user becomes irrelevant. Regardless of my professional endpoint, I want to continue to push my boundaries and seek new information. I want to blend disciplines, like the humanities and information sciences, rejecting the lens of a single field of study while incorporating multiple viewpoints.

Well, I am entering that last year of my undergraduate studies at the University of Washington. Technically, I after I finish the fall quarter I will have three more quarters. At which point I hope to start with graduate school.

I have wrestled quite a bit with my future plans. Since CHID requires me to do a mini-thesis, it has given me a taste of researching and exploring topics. As a result, I have discovered that I am very interested in researching and having the time and opportunity to immerse myself in that for a few years. So I began looking at PHD programs as a way to delve into a topic. Additionally, I have been dabbling with tumblr as a more streamlined blogging/information collection platform.

For those interested, that interest in tumblr has merged with my fledging research efforts at: Researched Bits. On the right side of that page is a link to the beginnings of a bibliography page as well. I am finding tumblr pretty handy overall, and it will allow others to post and share comments/questions as well. Involving all of you in my research and sharing the journey would make it that much more rewarding in the end. In the meantime, I might be quieter, so be warned.

When the spring quarter ended the first week of June, I was not sure what would happen over the summer. I had registered for the A-term, which was June 20 through July 20, but otherwise, had nothing planned until the fall quarter started on September 28.

Now that the fall quarter has started, all I can say is having nothing planned would be fantastic. The A-term was insanity, yet I enjoyed it immensely. I may have been drinking more coffee than I will admit toward the end of it, but I survived with an improved GPA. I loved my classes and the challenge, and it really helped me hone my scholastic skills and focus academically.

In early July, I participated in the Seattle to Portland Bicycle Classic again. I never thought I would admit biking 200 miles is pure joy, but after two years of STP, my opinion has changed. It is a wonderful experience that is well-run by the Cascade Bicycle Club. The participants are great, the route gorgeous (mostly), and I highly recommend it to anyone with any sort of bicycling ability.

The taste of victory..

After STP and with the A-term finished, I did have a week or so of basically staring at the wall as I rebooted and adjusted to the free time. Then my summer kicked into high gear. The Sounders FC (and my fellow fans) were a boon. I joined the Emerald City Supporters, and also ventured into the pit for a match. Match days became events, no longer just the match itself. Pre-game drinking and post-game carousing bookended the matches. I capped off the summer by traveling with the ECS to Vancouver, BC and watching the Sounders defeat the White Caps. Invading an away game with six filled charter buses of fans (plus all those who traveled separately) is an amazing experience. As their season winds down, all I can say is go Sounders!

Trail Down.

I also got out and enjoyed the area. I made it out to Discovery Park, up to Gas Works Park, out to Alki and West Seattle, as well as Golden Gardens and Carkeek. I rocked the Bottleneck Lounge, celebrated the return of C.C.’s, and toasted the opening of Diesel. I ventured out of the city to Rainier twice for hiking, and went out to Port Angeles for a weekend. Part of that weekend involved biking on the Olympic Discovery Trail and hiking in the Olympic National Park & Forest. I also got to see the Elwha Dam before its demise and the start of the Elwha River Restoration.

I made to two free SAM days, dragging some friends along. I got out to Cal Anderson and saw a few free outdoor movies (including the deliciously odd Apple). I saw a special screening of Urbanism and caught a few movies at the Harvard Exit Theater. I finally yielded and made it to Rebar and Bacon Strip, which is a quirky little “gay variety show”. I got out for game nights, did some babysitting, and ate dinner at all sorts of places. I went days without sleeping in my bed.

I also traveled. In addition to Port Angeles, I ventured back out to eastern Washington for a spell in August. I also made it to Wisconsin to see family (and my new niece!) and ended that trip with a 41-hour Amtrak ride back to Seattle (which was an adventure in itself).

I got to hang out with my friends. I rekindled some friendships and made some new friends. I was approached in public for the first time and asked out on a date (I said yes). I embraced public affection and started breaking out of my shell a bit. I see potential, and I see futures, that weren’t there before. And now, as the fall quarter starts and Seattle stumbles toward winter, I look forward to the cooler months. I hope to enjoy them in a quieter fashion, and I hope to actually take a break. Regardless though, this summer was amazing, and I wouldn’t have changed a minute of it. To all those that were a part of it, I love you and thanks. Let’s keep it going, even if in a calmer manner.

I am at a loss currently. I do not trust my emotions, I am unsure of my next step. The great people surrounding me, the ones I am growing with, the ones I am falling in love with… I feel lost in their shadows. I have not had emotion like this in almost ten years. I feel new to it because I am not the person I was, and I am not sure of the one who I am. Yet, here I am.

These are the things we do. This is what being human is, it is reacting, it is emotion. It is that pure, raw, heart-wrenching tug that guides us. It is not rational, it is not calculated. I have lived in a very calculated manner, pulling myself from the wreckage of the last relationship. I finally felt safe, I finally felt I was becoming *me* again, whoever that was/is. And now, there is you. And you. And you. And you. And…

Yet that is not entirely true. I do know where I am. I know I am at a crossroads of sorts, but not necessarily a precipice. What is above is that standard, knee-jerk reaction to my life and its problems. It is easier to act unsure, to be that deer in the headlights. I may be entering more serious waters, but my focus is not singular. I am acutely aware of where I am at the moment and what is happening. While unsure, I am not paralyzed. I am in new territory, and enjoying myself, so I do not wish to screw it up.

Those things we do, I will do. I will react, I will emote, I will follow that tug, even if it means a bumpy path. Those in my life currently, both new and old, have stolen pieces of my heart, and I am not sure I am ready to yield. I can be stubborn, let us just hope I am not stupid as well.